Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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