Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
