he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
