He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
