it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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