I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
