i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
