pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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