It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
