I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
