can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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