He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
