as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
