Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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