you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize