Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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