I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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