Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
