so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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