I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
