She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
