Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
