He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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