White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
