Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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