I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
