im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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