Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Your penis caused this!
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