So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
His nipple licking is glorious
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