it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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