you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize