Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My dick has a subreddit
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
