if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
