just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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