Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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