I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
