I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
There's a naked man in my car right now.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
