so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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