I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize