yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
