i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
And then he peed in my hair
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