Well douche your snatch and let's go!
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
His hands were made for my vagina.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
