My hand turned me down
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
