It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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