Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
