just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you win again, gameday.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
