if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Four minutes until I can fart!
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
i think im in europe. pls send help
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
