why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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