I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
