exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
