This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
