Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
the condom got lost in my hair
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
two words: eviction party
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Randomize
