I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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