he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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