OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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