i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
