good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize