Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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