You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
