watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
