Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
and you fell through a lawn chair
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
