is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
