Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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