you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
