can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
